Eng 405 Deep Map Assignment

Mapping our teacher selves...hmmm, who is that person exactly? Sometimes I feel pretty uncertain because the road to success has been pretty rocky and often frustrating. While teaching middle school English is a passion, I have found myself questioning my abilities on a daily basis. That being said, I wanted my deep map to represent a journey, because without a doubt it has been nothing less. 
     I started my degree 7 years ago and though I never stopped going at any given time, there were various obstacles that presented themselves as problematic in relation to my lifelong goals. While I wouldn't trade my family for anything in the world, I often struggle in finding a perfect balance between the two, and comprising being a major part of their lives was always out of the question. Now almost three kids later and finishing up my last semester of classes, I can finally see the light! But what about fear? Can anyone attest to having experienced the overwhelming emotion? I find myself troubled by thoughts of failure at times as I wonder how a classroom full of students will respond to me. Will I be funny, will they hate me, will they listen or respect me? Will I be good at it? While these very questions have me puzzled, they also push me forward every day, as the love of teaching outweighs them. The Deep Map had to encompass all of those things for me, family, goals, confidence, success, passion, and the need to pursue them despite my fear and apprehension.    
      The row boat and its placement on the "river of life" represents me as a student and my feelings about what I need in order to achieve success in becoming a teacher. In my boat I have all my belongings, or the things that matter most to me and which are absolute, my family, background, and education.  My oars, which I need to get me to the tree, represent goals and confidence, both vital elements and also something I struggle with. However, fear and personal issues present themselves as roadblocks on my journey, as I have questioned my abilities and compromised my graduation date to raise a family. The tree represents everything I hope to obtain, a degree, my first job at a school, and a class of my own. The quote on the sun which is hard to see says, "Give your stress wings and let it fly away." Just a little food for thought, for me mostly!



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